Sunday, December 1, 2013

Mom's house, AKA: why I am fatter.

Hey everyone! I'm going to try sticking to a schedule in which I post once or twice a week about my life as a wife and mom, and once or twice about the DIY projects my hubs and I undertake here in our ugly house.

If this schedule turns out like my usual attempts at time management, it will fail miserably, but we'll give it the ol' college try.

Speaking of failing miserably, my recent Thanksgiving vacation to my paren'ts house was the exact opposite. And by that I mean it was a huge success. And by that I mean I gained about five pounds.

Why is that a success, you ask? Because it means I literally did nothing and ate everything. You see, I spend my days running around like a literal chicken with its head cut off. Like I told my mom, while trying to explain why I was stuffing my face non stop in her home, "I don't have time to eat. One day recently I forgot to eat until 4 pm."

I ate like it was my job, people, ok? And no, I'm not pregnant (yet.)

I mean what do you do when you stumble into your mom's kitchen the day after eating everything in sight (Thanksgiving) and immediately spot the leftover pie? Eat if for breakfast, of course. (No brainer.)

And what about when your dad announces he's going to the store and asks, naively, if anyone needs anything? You obviously tell him he's out of peppermint stick ice cream and hot fudge and needs to buy more (even if there was none to begin with.)

Ahhh, my parent's house. It's like a veritable vacation now that I'm a full fledged adult with offspring. I love it. And not just for the food.

People, I woke up every single morning, handed Darby to my mom, and pretty much did whatever I wanted. Don't think I'm lazy, please, because the actual reason this hand-off occurred every day was due to Darby's obsession with my mom (the obsession is mutual) and absolute insistence that Grandma be with her every moment and do every single thing for her.

What am I supposed to do when my 18 month old asks longingly for my mom to change every diaper and feed her every meal? Deprive her? I ask you.

By the way, my mom loved it

Meanwhile, I sat on my rear end and ate all of their food (and apparently the rest of my mom's private chocolate stash. I didn't know. Oops. Hey mom!! You need to hide any food you don't want me to eat next time I come to visit. Like when we were teenagers.)

I also fiddled around on my computer making these, these and these free Christmas printables for you, my lovely blog readers.

Then I stayed up and watched re-runs of Friends and gangster movies on cable after everyone went to bed. Who am I? We don't have cable. That's my word on the matter.

Anyway, needless to say, I am looking forward to my next visit, and February could not come any faster.

Thanks, mom and dad! Love you!


  1. Our pleasure! Love you too!
    mom...aka gramma...

  2. Cute! Not having babies anymore, I like being the auntie that takes over when my niece and nephew come around. Somehow though my niece is more fascinated by my kids -- the cool, older cousins. :-) The newest nephew is a newborn so I can let the kids play with my niece and take over holding the baby! My other nephews are my kids ages so they just always looked forward to playing with the cousins and grandparents. Can't figure how to do a profile below. So I'm not anonymous but it's the easiest way to sign. ---Nicky Sanderson

  3. Nicky, hey! Darby is the same way about "older kids." She always wants to have their attention and do things with them, haha. And I can't wait til she has cousins and there are tons of little kids running around during the holidays! It sounds fun!