Wednesday, January 8, 2014

You know you're a mom when...

You know you're a mom when...

You've realized at 3 pm that you haven't eaten all day, and then immediately consumed the contents of your refrigerator while standing over the sink.

You're not grossed out by picking another person's nose.

Afternoon Delight now means when all your children are napping simultaneously and there is an episode of Downton Abbey to watch.

You have, in a sleep deprived daze, applied dark spot bleach to your post-pregnancy hemorrhoids and hemorrhoid cream to your post-pregnancy dark spots. (Note: Don't try this; it burns ... a friend told me.)

The words, "Can you come help me clean the poop out of the bathtub?" have been uttered by you recently.

You've learned to give up the little luxuries in life, like drinking cold water. (When you just left a 14 month old alone in the living room, and she's probably trying to climb the book case, ain't nobody got time to stand there waiting for the tap water to get cold. Luke warm it is.)

Your child receives toys and you are more excited than he/she is because there's new stuff to play with. (Doing the same puzzles again and again gets old real quick.)

You've felt your infant leak something from her diaper onto your pants, which you later discovered was urine, and you said to yourself, "Yes! It's just pee; I don't have to change," and went about your business.

Another person constantly bursts in on you while you're peeing, and your only thought is, "I wonder if seeing me pee in the toilet will make her want to be a big girl and do it too."

You would give up everything and face anything to keep those little people happy and healthy.

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